Export & upload
Upload the WhatsApp ZIP, then optionally add photos, name swaps and secret context.
YOUR GROUP CHAT HAS OPINIONS
Upload the chaos.
Get the lore.
A ridiculous, affectionate, evidence-backed report about your WhatsApp group—complete with dossiers, awards, red flags, greatest hits and predictions.
🔒 Private uploads🧹 Chat export deleted after delivery🪄 Human-reviewed AI report
Exhibit A: a group that needed 2,715 messages to leave the house.
HOW IT WORKS
Three steps. Fewer than your last dinner plan.
We read the room
Your request enters a private queue. The chat is analyzed for patterns, roles, running jokes and receipts.
Preview, then unlock
You get a private teaser by email. Love it? Pay once to reveal the complete report.
WHAT YOU GET
A roast with a surprisingly warm centre.
📊 Group statistics🕵️ Individual dossiers🏆 Custom awards🚩 Red & green flags🎬 Greatest story arcs🔮 Unscientific predictions💬 Actual chat receipts❤️ The real friendship read
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PRIVACY, WITHOUT THE FINE-PRINT FOG
Your chat is material, not inventory.
Your WhatsApp export is stored privately, used only to produce the report, and deleted after delivery. Optional photos stay attached to the private report so they can be displayed there. We never sell chat data or train public models on it.
START A REPORT
Hand over the evidence.
Start with your WhatsApp export. We will guide you through the rest and infer everything we can from the chat itself.
See your private preview before deciding whether to unlock the full report.